Arsenal FC:- Whats Cooking?

STAN KROENKE


Its winter time and after a classy 3-0 win against rivals Aston Villa it was a sign of things to come for the club which were called the invincible's not long ago. The New Year would be perfect if Arsenal manage to win their coming games back to back with relegation battlers Portsmouth and a descent Bolton side.
Further Arsenal FC are on verge of a an official takeover by American business tycoon Stan Kroenke who has a 29.90% stake in Arsenal PLC. As per rules of LONDON STOCK EXCHANGE an official bid has to be made if a stake of 29.99% is acquired by anyone. So at present Arsenal fans can just be hopefully that ""what happens , happens for the best"".

In more news second highest share holder Mr. Usmanov has made an official phone call to Stan to know about the official takeover bid and whether he would acquire the 29.99% shares.
So if Stan takes over ARSENAL FC the club would get the much needed funds to repay their debt and also to buy a heap of WORLD CLASS players as Wenger said.
So lets see the possible options which are making the rounds:-

1. David Villa:-
Rated at 40mn pounds this world class prolific and clinical striker is all what arsenal needs at the moment with RVP injured.

I say:- " Highly Unlikely"


2. Marouane Chamakh:-
His contract se to expire in six months he'll be avaliable for a meagre 5-6mn pounds. Though not world class he is no short of a good package. After all who expected VERMAELEN to be so good when Wenger surprised by a 10mn pound signing.



I say- "Wenger has already given up on this chap"


3. Andre-Pierre Gignac:-


Rated at 15mn pounds he is the top scorer in Ligue1 and the best oprion avaliable to wenger. He is higly rated by the scouts of arsenal and is clinical and has pace.
I say"- " Yes he is coming this winter"


Hope Arsene Wenger will make the fans happy.




EPL Week 17 Highlights & Goals




Fixtures:
Manchester United vs Wolves
Sunderland vs Aston Villa
Bolton vs West Ham United
Birmingham City vs Blackburn
Liverpool vs Wigan
Chelsea vs Portsmouth
Tottenham vs Manchester Cuty
Burnley vs Arsenal



Manchester United 3 - 0 Wolves








Sunderland 0 - 2 Aston Villa









Bolton 3 - 1 West Ham United






Birmingham City 2 - 1 Blackburn




Liverpool 2 - 1 Wigan







totteham 3 - 0 Manchester City








Chelsea 2 - 1 Portsmouth








Burnley 1 - 1 Arsenal






EPL Week 16 Highlights & Goals




Fixtures:

Chelsea vs Everton
Manchester United vs Aston Villa
Stoke City vs Wigan
Birmingham vs West Ham
Sunderland vs Portsmouth
Burnley vs Fulham
Bolton vs Manchester City
Tottenham vs Wolves
Liverpool vs Arsenal




Chelsea 3 - 3 Everton








Manchester United 0 - 1 Aston Villa








Sunderland 1 - 1 Portsmouth







Burnley 1 - 1 Fulham








Birmingham 1 - 0 West Ham






Bolton 3 - 3 Manchester City







Stoke City 2 - 2 Wigan






Tottenham 0 - 1 Wolves









Liverpool 1 - 2 Arsenal







Premier League Potshots

Disclaimer: I do NOT claim originality for all the content in this note. Any resemblance to any person alive or dead is purely intentional and not at all con-incidental unless they support Liverpool FC.

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(Here's Technical Writing skills put to some use)
(Almost Original)

CHUNKIES Store in Bandra launched a new product recently
"The Grow-Your-Own-Barby Kit"

The Product comes complete with the Kit and a signed chewing-gum by Sir Holy God who used it during his side's 4-0 victory over Arsenal Reserves two years ago.

The kit includes a stone about 1.88 cms(0.7 in) in height, red-coloured solution, a hairband, protective glasses.

Step 1: Take the stone and immerse it overnight in the solution
Step 2: The stone grows to be 1.88m(6.1 feet) in height.
Step 3: Place the hairband on the top of the stone
Step 4: Gently place the stone in an offside position
Warning: Use the protective glasses to view the stone.
Step 5: You have your very own Dimitar Barbi-tov collector's model stone

Price: £30.75m only

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(90% Original)
The new Gunner-null Squad

Its that time of the year again folks. The calendar draws to a close, so the award ceremony has arrived.
The following players were awarded for their superb performances.

Hunk of the Year
Canary Lasagna
This weird combination has noodles at the top!

Keeper of the Year
Manual I'll-Moon-Ya
Despite being Spanish, he was signed for having fluorescent hair and being openly gay.

Defender of the Year
Gay Cleansheet
Primarily signed because he's French, then used to replace Hairy Cole.

Striker of the Year
Edwin van de Silva
Spent much time playing Carrom. Known in the Carrom UnderGround as the "Striker"

Rich Player of the Year
Abu Dhabi
The Arab was signed to ease the financial crisis at Gunner-nal. He also brought their main sponsor-Emirates.

Aggressive Player of the Year
Samir Nazi
"Jew?"

Music Sensation of the Year
Wiil-I-Am BlackAss
Founder member of the Black-Eyed Peace

Promising Player of the Year
Aaron Bambi
He's Welsh !!

League Cup Defender Award
Phillipe Sendhimoff
Renowned defender for saving a last gasp goal against Liverpool by handling I-Am-Injured Aquilani's bicycle kick seven times.

Clueless Player of the Year
Alexander Dong
I don't wanna comment on this guy... It's just that I don't wanna ...... DIE?!

Tyson Gay Award
Theodore Wallcock
Eight-year old child prodigy. Average speed is Mach 2. Though he is known for Mach 3 against Liverpool in Champions League

(Fransex Faber-Castel is spared for being a great player)

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The Fulham Chant
(Similar to the Musgrave Ritual in Sherlock Homles Adventures)


Who won the Intertoto-Cup?

We did

Who won the South England Bingle-Burberry Consolation Cup?

We did

Who is our saviour?

Jesus Bullard Clint Dempsey

Who was our best player?

Santa-Claus Jensen

In Roy Hodgson, we believe

Amen

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The story to Chelsea's new home jersey

June 2009
Chelsea launched their new Home jersey. Visit the following link to view
http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s289/msmohit004/Chelskishirt.jpg

July 2009
BPL authorities rejected the jersey as it sported swear words. So CAshley Cole came up with the zipper idea. His idealogy was that "the zipper would describe us better than the swear words".

What a visionary!

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A Video I found on Youtube. Made by some random user.



Jose Mourinho "Shaddup Your Face"

Good-Buy!

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Rafa Benitez: I signed a new Winger for 1.5 million pounds- Mark Gonzalez. He's our wonder boy.

Alex Ferguson: Why is that?

Rafa Benitez: Because everytime he plays, I wonder why I signed him.

Alex Ferguson: Why you lucky bastard, I spent 14 on Nani!
(Technically, Nani arrived a year after Mark Gonzalez, but heck, like they both made big differences!)

Carlos does a favour


The Premier League produced some outstanding goals this weekend which included 2 long-range efforts from Scholes and Darron Gibson and the Wolves game producing an outstanding 35 yarder from Nenad Milijas. Charles N'Zogbia meanwhile, showed what he can do with his left foot.

But the prime show was to be played late, and how entertaining it turned out to be! The ManCity versus Chelsea match showed how capable ManCity are of beating the big teams and maybe breaking into the top four. Chelsea's meagre defence, which had not conceded even a single goal against ManUtd, Arsenal and Liverpool conceded 2 at Eastlands which could have been more. The home team suffered an early setback after Adebayor conceded an own goal after Shay Given's heroic saves. But after going behind, ManCity never looked behind! They dominated Chelsea for rest of the half and Adebayor managed to pull off a goal before half-time in somewhat controversial circumstances.

In the second half too, ManCity came out all guns blazing which was evident in their attacking play. On 56 minutes, a free-kick on the edge of the area did the trick for ManCity. Carlos Tevez, the former Manchester United striker side-footed the ball into the net although Cech might have or should have saved it. The former Manchester United striker, who made a shock revelation few weeks ago that he would quit football if Argentina won the next year's World Cup, was ecstatic after scoring the goal which turned out to be the winning goal. Although Chelsea should have equalised after Drogba was tripped by Nedum Onuaha in the box on 80 minutes. Frank Lampard stepped up to take the penalty, but to the Chelsea fans' horror, Shay Given saved the penalty and denied Chelsea the equalizer which could have given Chelsea some hopes of taking all the 3 points. ManCity somehow held on for the remaining 10 minutes, although Tevez could have made it 3 if he'd spotted a pass to Adebayor who was almost open on goal.



After 5 minutes of injury-time, ManCity secured their 1st win after 7 consecutive league draws which has now given them a huge boost in morale of cracking into the top four. ManCity's next five matches include 2 tough away fixtures to Bolton and Tottenham, while 2 relatively comfortable home games against Sunderland and Stoke followed by an away game against Wolves. They should secure atleast 13 points out of the possible 15 if they can maintain this type of football at least over the next five matches which will give Liverpool a serious headache.

Gillet makes profit in sale






We understand that Liverpool Co-owner George Gillet has made a profit of 300m$ by selling his Ice hockey team Montreal Canadiens for 575m$.

Gillet had bought the ice-hockey team and the Bell Centre Arena for 275m$ back in 2001.

The ice hockey team is sold to the representatives of the Molson Brewing family.

Whether the money from the sale will work in Liverpool's benefit is a question left to be answered - however Gillet and Hicks are looking for a third party investors to break the 50-50 partnership with the board and repay some of the clubs £230m debt.


Ireland's Ray of Hope

Before stating what I want to just have a look at the conference which took place yesterday and hear what Mr. Blatter has to say






There are loads of points which are worth discussing here and the manner in which events have unfolded - it may seem we are possibly heading to an unusual World Cup of sorts - IF - FIFA do accept Ireland as the 33rd team - and duh! - Costa Rica

There should be no debate as in whether Ireland deserve a World Cup spot - they were better than France over the two legs and do deserve going through - agreed France has a better squad but you don't rest on your laurels - you don't perform and your out - Fair Play!

Ireland have sprung up with the smartest of ideas by not targeting their chances of playing at the World Cup against France. Simply put - France as a nation have been given the green light for the World Cup and consider a replay - forbid exit would be calamitous for the game and would make FIFA look like a mad house with the media constantly wrangling through them and their legislation.

On the brighter side this humble request if granted would be good for the game - although a rule that was broken - it supports fair play. Moreover incidents like this may cause entire Ireland to remember the WC 2010 by the Henry incident and how unjust the world was to them.

Moreover, now the entire world seems to be against Henry - had he accepted the incident at that moment France would have been against him. People have got to understand that it was a case of more ineptness of the official rather than cunning attitude of the player.

The only thing that I'm not convinced of still...is Costa Rica. It seems that they would be considered if additional places are discussed - agreed they too have a statement of fair play lodged - but for an offside goal - yea right..it seems everyone is taking advantage Ireland's tragic exit. It seems Costa Rica have a point here - and it's just because the goal was clearly offside.

FIFA's reply to these two incidents will be an interesting one

Well nothing more to be said - we await FIFA's decision...