DISCLAIMER: ANY RELATION OF ANY PERSON LIVING OR DEAD IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL AND UNINTENTIONAL(ALTHOUGH IN ALL LIKELINESS YOU MAY MOST PROBABLY FIND ONE). THIS POST IS NOT MEANT TO HURT OR POKE FUN AND HUMILIATE ANYONE, AT SOME POINT DURING READING IT YOU WILL CERTAINLY FEEL OTHERWISE...BUT PLEASE TAKE IT IN THE RIGHT SPIRIT AND ENJOY
He knew it. Everyone knew it.
So now was the time for a vacation and predictably he took a flight to the Spanish capital. He checked into The Hilton. Well he always does(His personal favourite is the one in the french capital. They call it the Paris Hilton).
He had to get ready for it. The meeting took place as follows.
Cristiano - Hello
Perez - Good morning. So you have finally taken your decision?
WHEN HE FIRST REFUSED THE OFFER
Perez -I must say you are not a dimwit after all. But do you know the implications of this move?
Cristiano - Oh yes. I know. Manchester United have already been disqualified from the international diving fraternity championship and if I am not wrong Real have been awarded a wild card entry!
Perez - You are rightly informed. You are the sole reason that such prestige is bestowed upon my team. But the United Youth squad is still in the competition under Luis 'wannabe Ronaldo' Nani.
Cristiano - Ah, that won't matter much...So how much are you going to pay SAF?
Perez - £ 5 million
Cristiano - Only £5 million for my transfer?
Perez - Oh no the total amount is much more.
Perez reaches his pocket to show Ronaldo a cheque worth £80 million
Perez - £5 million goes to Sir Alex only as goodwill.
Cristiano - hmm.... Now that the deal is final. Where do you want me to play? You know I'm versatile...
Perez - Centre Back or Right Wing Back
Cristiano - What the .... (almost faints)
Perez - I can explain. You will have to play in that position only for three months. Then everything will be normal
Cristiano - how is that?
Perez - I have been blamed a lot for wasting top quality players by bench warming sessions. I have had enough of it. So I will let some of the wastes play ahead for some time and in three months time all will be able to play together?
Cristiano - How?
Perez - I have appealed to fifa to change the number of on field players from 11 to 15
Cristiano - Are you nuts?
Perez - it is going to cost me £127.45million
Cristiano - fine tell me who is the real boss...you are too dumb to run this thing.
Perez - Easy boy...easy I'm just kidding. Just checking your sense of humour. So are you looking forward to making new friends at Real?
Christiano - oh yess!
Perez - Anyone in particular?
Christiano - Raul...I want to ask him when he is going to retire...i desperately want that no. 7 jersey. There can only be one star you know and no prizes for guessing who you have just bought for £80 million.
Perez - Very well. Now...will you be able to adjust your play with Kaka?
Cristiano - I don't need to. Once I get the ball ...I keep it!
Perez - You think you are Alec Smart do you? I can't allow you to play.. if that is what you intend to do.
Christiano - Then you will waste your money?
After thinking for a while...
Perez - Crap! You win...but remember we are Real Madrid and you are not the only star.
Best of luck Christiano .
With One of his trademark winks Ronaldo leaves the room with only one thought in mind...With me in the team there can be only one star...
You can expect to read many more such classified eavesdropped conversations from the football world. Keep checking this space for more such meetings, interviews, discussions...
Coming up next is Ronaldo's candlelight dinner with Sir Alex Dumbledore and (all in)vain Rooney
A Football Paradise correspondent,